


Unpacking Mr. Dibny

by Electrickittenshark



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Barry coping with grief, Barry finally sees therapist for his issues, Death in superhero fiction, Elongatedflash, M/M, Nostalgia for Elongated Man, Ralph is a dorky fan boy, Ralph is kinda bi, Ralphy, Remembering Ralph's journey, Superhero vlog, reflections
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-27 16:09:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14429277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Electrickittenshark/pseuds/Electrickittenshark
Summary: Curiosity gets the better of Barry and he decides to take a closer look at Ralph’s belongings. After a night of packing up and a few therapy sessions he finally decides to watch Ralph rambling on about his misadventures as a superhero in his vlogs but not really vlogs. Barry starts grappling with his grief, as he gains an even deeper understanding of his mentee, fellow superhero and friend.[Spoilers for Season 4 episode 18 and 19.]





	1. Packing him up

Barry sits on the ground and takes a long at look at Ralph’s empty office. He replays Ralph’s death in his mind as he tries to cling onto Ralph’s final words. 

**_“I’ll save you!”_ **

**_“You already did, Barry”_ **

He wants to believe that he managed to save Ralph in some way, but he knows that Ralph just said that to re-assure him. Barry buries his head in his hands and finally lets himself cry. After his face is completely drenched in tears and his eyes have turned puffy, he takes and deep breath and slows down for a bit. His fingers trace the framed photo of Team Flash and he starts going through the rest of Ralph’s stuff. He tears up again when he spots the newspaper for Elongated Man’s first appearance. However, Ralph’s ridiculous comments scribed onto the paper in red ink, make him giggle. Ralph has crossed out Elongated Man and wrote a bunch of other possible names:

* * *

 

>   ** ~~Super Stretch!~~ ~~The Ductile Badass!~~ ~~Purple Man!~~ ~~Plastic Man!~~   ~~Silly Putty Guy!~~**
> 
> **_I need a better name before this shit sticks._ **

* * *

 

Barry finds an entire box filled with Elongated Man keepsakes and he smiles sadly when he

sees Izzy’s Bowin’s demo CD with a post-it note attached stating: **_I need a new copy :(_**.  It dawns on him just how attached Ralph got to Izzy when he sees a goofy photo of both of them. Ralph is wearing Izzy’s cowboy hat and giving a thumbs-up, while Izzy is wearing Ralph’s mask and sticking her tongue out. Once Barry remembers Ralph’s comment about how his father left him and how he had to be the “strong” one, it becomes crystal clear why Ralph got attached to Izzy so quickly. More than anyone on Team Flash, Ralph understood what Izzy went through. He knew what it’s like to be abandoned by close family and having to survive all alone. He knew what it felt like to be blessed with superpowers only to realize that you’re being hunted by a psychopathic evil genius who wants to murder you. He thinks, “That’s the real reason why he was so protective and supportive of her. And Cisco just thought that Ralph was being nice to her, because he had a crush on her.” Barry smiles with pride, when he spots a cute framed drawing of “Stretchy Man” made by Lauren, the same girl who got hurt during the Bison attacks. He chortles when he remembers hearing a rumor about a guy making balloon animals with his fingers in a hospital. “So that’s the girl he had to visit”, he thinks.

Barry opens Ralph’s drawer and spots an old photo of the family of the woman who got killed by her husband. In the photo, Ralph is drinking tea with them and doing a pinky promise with the victim’s daughter hand. Barry had forgotten how Ralph emotionally invested was in that case and how towards the end he turned into an obsessive insomniac. Barry smiles when he remembers working on one of his first cases with Detective Dibny. Ralph would constantly crack jokes during the case to lift everyone’s spirits up and he was the one who smacked Barry on the back and told him to be more confident in his abilities as a junior forensic scientist. His perception of Ralph was so tainted by the perjury, that he forgot how much of a dorky sweetheart Ralph was before his life went to shit. Most people assumed that Ralph committed perjury for the glory and awards, but Barry knows that he just wanted to right by the victim and her family.

He raises his eye-brows when spots a notepad with the title: **Ralphy’s tips for super-heroics**. Barry lets out a little laugh when he reads Ralph’s first few, gems of wisdom.

* * *

 

  1. > **_Don't be selfish dickhead._**

  2. > **_Civilians first, asshole villains later._**

  3. > **_Homies before weird ass P.I. stories about bat-shit crazy spouses._**

  4. > **_Believe in yourself and stuff._**

  5. > **_You can do it!_**

  6. > **_Okay maybe you can't do it, but pretend that you can do it and just bullshit through your non-existent plan. Improvise and hope that you don't kick the bucket!_**




* * *

 

Barry tries to hold back his tears as he reads the final tip and then—he stumbles across things that Ralph would probably want no one to find. There is an older photo of Ralph with his beer belling cosplaying as the Flash. Barry’s jaw drops when he sees a ten-page fan-fic that Ralph wrote about the Flash teaming up with Detective Dibny. The story is about the Flash asking the “Best Detective Ever” for help with solving a difficult case involving alien scientists and shape-shifting plants. It is a surprising page-turner and Barry smiles sadly, when he reads the ending which has both of them sharing a drink together. He thinks, “After the constant teasing and bickering, I never took Ralph to be a Flash fanboy of all things.” Barry falls into a guilt and shame spiral, after it occurs to him just how much Ralph admired and respected him. He cries, “I’m sorry I failed you. I…I couldn't save you after I promised to keep you safe.” He wipes away his tears and quietly opens up Ralph’s old, slightly scratched laptop. He finds a couple of files on the cases that Ralph was working on before he died and decides to tie up the loose-ends for Ralph, as his “partner”. However, he is mildly surprised when he finds a file with the name **: Ralph’s superhero adventure**. He opens the file and spots a series of videos chronicling Ralph’s superhero training. He didn't have the heart to go through the files at this point. Every note, every photo, every stale donut, just everything in this room reminds Barry of how he utterly failed to keep Ralph safe. He packs everything up and pours out a drink for Ralph, swearing to keep **_his family_** safe.

He shifts almost all of Ralph’s stuff into a warehouse, but he takes the Ralph’s laptop home and buries it in the back of his cupboard. Right now, he had to focus on stopping Devoe. Even though he is the fastest man alive, he doesn't have the time to grieve—anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Death of friends and family members is very common in super-hero fiction. It is classically used as a motivator for people to become superheroes or fight harder, but we the audience don't get to the grieving process and that cheapens character deaths. I am glad that Barry is actually grieving Ralph's death on the show and seeing a therapist. I know there is a sub-section of the fandom which is upset by Barry wasting his time on grieving Ralph a) because he didn't grieve like this for the other deaths b) there is a chunk of the fanbase that hates Ralph and were celebrating his death. 
> 
> However Barry not grieving the other deaths properly lead to him making some self-destructive choices. He pulled away from Team Flash after he couldn't save Eddie and Ronnie. His guilt for Ronnie and Eddie comes to bite him in the ass when he goes into the speed force to save Wally. He recklessly altered the time line after his father's death and he was tempted to do the same thing at the end of Season's 1 with his mother's death. Barry actually slowing down and reflecting on his time with Ralph is the healthy thing to do here. I have been on the ElongatedFlash ship ever since the moment Barry placed his hand on Ralph's shoulder and told him that he knows him. Their friendship and their relationship in general was one of the highlights of the season. I love how Barry develops this understanding and respect for Ralph. I love how he becomes a role model for Ralph and inspires him to be better. That is what the Flash should be: a symbol of hope who brings out the best in others. Ralph's character is deeply flawed but he elevates Barry's character this season, by showing the qualities that people really admire in the Flash: his compassion and faith in others.


	2. One more laugh

After a few therapy sessions with Dr. Finkle, Barry found himself opening up about deaths that he had buried in the back of his mind. Ronnie, Martin Stein, Eddie, H.R. and of course his parents. Barry is used to watching close friends and family die during his time as a superhero, but he just had to live with it. He had to keep moving, he had to keep suiting up day after day and keep fighting villains even when a major part of his life, his world disappears. He sits down in his lab and finds the courage to crack Ralph’s old laptop open. He places his hand on the cheek and starts binge watching the videos. 

* * *

 

 

>   **I’m going to be a superhero!**
> 
> Ralph is staring at the camera with a giant dorky smile on his face. He dramatically spins around in his chair and screams, “I am going to be superhero! WOOOOOO!” He gets out of the chair and does a ridiculous dance for a couple of minutes. He says, “And I am going to be trained by the best superhero ever! I didn't expect Allen to be the Flash. I mean I still see him as the scrawny rookie with a baby face who just started out as a lab nerd at CCPD.” He ssays with a deep, booming voice, “I shall chronicle my epic journey as a superhero! So, when fifty years from now someone asks, well how did that guy become an awesome superhero? They can watch this.”

* * *

 

Barry tears up when he remembers, Ralph telling him how he was ready to rise up and he felt like he finally deserved that greater life. He had his own version of Ralph’s journey in his mind, but he wanted to know Ralph’s point of view. He wanted hear Ralph’s voice again. He wanted to see all of the ridiculous expressions on his face again.

* * *

 

 

> **Holy shit! A possessed dinosaur! The Hell?**
> 
> Ralph’s back is facing the camera and he gasps dramatically as he turns around. He exclaims, “I just fought a dinosaur skeleton brought to life by a lady in a Bison jacket! What the hell is even this city? Any who, I screwed up big time today. A little girl got hurt because I was a dumbass. I mean, I thought that if I caught Bison early on then less people would get hurt in the long run.” He pauses, for a bit before pulling out the drawing that Lauren made of him. He smiles as he says softly, “I actually visited the girl who got hurt. Her name is Lauren, she’s really sweet and she wants to be a Marine Biologist. Which is probably why she asked me if I can make a whale, which I couldn’t do. I mean, how do you make a whale with your inflated balloon fingers? Well, I have to google that shit. TO THE INTERNET!”
> 
> There is cut in the video and Ralph comes back with his fingers contorted in the shape of a whale balloon animal. He rolls his eyes and mumbles, “I know that Barry is going to get all pissy because I was casual with my secret identity but I kinda think the whole secret identity thing is stupid. Anyways, the adorable smile on her face was totally worth it.  She pinky promised that she wouldn't tell anyone that I was Stretchy Man and we all know that pinky promises trump any legal contract out there.” Ralph tries to mimic Barry’s mannerisms as he recounts, “I felt so much better when Barry came into my office and gave me a corny pep talk. He said, ‘I will make it my personal mission to protect your heart.’ I mean it’s really sappy and it’s straight from a cheesy rom-com. Not that I'd mind being a cheesy rom-com with—WAIT! That’s not the point! It’s a promise made by the Flash…Soooooo my heart’s in good hands.”

* * *

Barry smiles when he remembers that moment in Ralph’s office and he pauses solemnly, when he remembers Ralph asking him for a hug on the 405 bus. He would give anything to have that hug with him. He didn't think that that Ralph Dibny of all people would care about Nina enough to send the artefacts back to the Sioux reservation. Barry never took Ralph to be the kind of guy who has a soft spot for kids and dogs, but he made a lot of inane assumptions about him.

* * *

 

 

> **I’m an official superhero now!**
> 
> Ralph is wearing his old grey suit and then he spins around dramatically before there is a cut revealing him in his new suit. He does a “superhero pose” and says, “What is this? It’s editing magic! I GOT A NEW SUIT! I look really good this. My butt looks really good in this. That other suit kinda stuck to all the wrong places and I um…had to re-adjust at very inconvenient times. Which was all the time. I mean sure, I almost died and got burned by super acid shot by wacko with an Oedipus complex cosplaying as Billy Idol in a clown costume, but I am still alive. So, things worked out pretty well. BUUUUUUT, my superhero monologue was kinda cheesy and it could use a few re-writes. Okay, I got the costume. I got the name. I just need an iconic catchphrase, a logo and a theme song.”

* * *

 

Barry chuckles as he watches Ralph dancing like a giddy kid and he thinks, “God, I love this dork.” Watching Ralph enjoying being a superhero so much, reminds him of the time when he started out and he was excited by every little thing about being a superhero. That kind of magic vanishes over time, once you have to deal with the exhausting reality of being a superhero for a while. 

* * *

 

 

> **Wasted again. Yay.**
> 
> A dishevelled Ralph chugs an entire bottle of Gingold before breaking down into tears. He is practically blubbering at this point. Snot is dripping from his nose and his face is starting to fall apart.  He rambles, “Oh, my god, I’m such a failure! I had one job, ONE JOB! DAMMIT! I panicked like a dumbass and screwed everything up! I couldn't save Barry and now he is going to speedy guinea pig. I just…just love them so much! I love Cisco and his sassy pop culture references! I love Caitlin and her adorable hand gestures she does when she explains science shit that I don't understand. I love Barry and his corny pep-talks and long ass lectures. I have no freaking idea why he thinks I can actually be a good superhero. I just wanna turn into a giant human blanket and wrap myself around them, so nobody dies and we can eat donuts together and go to Disneyland and go on a stupid road trip together and make a musical about our stupid adventures. I don't deserve these people in my life. And I—I…need more booze.” Ralph goes through another two bottles before he falls asleep at his desk with his tongue sticking out. 

* * *

 

Barry quietly remembers the times he rolled his eyes when Ralph made an inappropriate or miss-timed joke. Or the times he shot back Ralph with snarky remarks. Or that one time he was genuinely tempted to shoot a lightning bolt up his ass. Even though he never told Ralph that he was proud of him, for a small moment, Barry pretends that Ralph is actually in front of him and he tells **_him_** , “I thought you could be a good superhero because I thought deep down inside, you cared. I know, it was hard for you to admit this and see that part of yourself, but at the end of the day you’re just a gigantic softie. It took me a long time to realise this because I couldn’t see through that thick layer of cockiness, immaturity and jokes. I’m sorry I didn't see it sooner.”

Barry panics for a moment when he sees Devoe is sitting in Ralph’s chair in the next video, but he sighs in relief when he realises that it’s Ralph pretending to be Devoe.

* * *

 

 

> **Prison Break**
> 
> Ralph shape-shifts back into his original form and does a happy dance. He says, “I pulled a prison break today! Did a bit of shape-shifting, cosplayed as Devoe and then BAM! I got Barry out of that hell hole. I spent like hours looking up ‘Professor Devoe’s’ lectures online to nail his gestures and stuff, you know ‘cause I am a method actor and all. Oh, my god! Maybe I should become a celebrity impersonator! I can totally nail the look and the voice, wait—that’s just stupid. I’m going to stick to being a superhero.” Ralph fingers search for something in his desk drawer and he smiles as he put on a pair of aviator shades. He says, “Originally, I wanted to wear a pair of badass sunglasses while rolling into the courthouse and scream, ‘Surprise bitches!’ But it doesn't fit Devoe’s character, so I stuck to the script that Cecile gave me. I also wanted to give Marlize the middle finger and tell her: ‘Suck it Marlize! HA! Your crocodile tears are totally useless now.’ But, I just said that in my mind, so it’s good enough. But there’s a tiny plot twist. It turns out that um—Devoe wants my body!”
> 
> Ralph starts laughing nervously.

* * *

 

Barry slows down the video and notices something. Ralph forehead is covered in sweat and his hands are shaking. Barry feels a twinge of guilt when he remembers Ralph earnestly saying to him: “I’m not ready to die.”

* * *

 

 

> Ralph scoffs and exclaims, “OF COURSE, HE WANTS MY BODY! I mean who wouldn't want my body? Look. At. Me. I am just too damn hot! I am just too sexy for my suit. I am too sexy for this chair. I’m probably too sexy for his lair. Cisco will have to make me a new suit because the last suit got overloaded with my hotness and exploded. I mean, who wouldn't be jealous of my beautiful face? I can, you know, **_elongate_**. OOOOOOOOOH!”

* * *

Barry snickers immaturely at first, trying to resist the urge to laugh at the words of his dead friend. Then he remembers all of the times Ralph told him to lighten up and enjoy the ridiculousness of being a super-hero. He finally lets himself laugh and for the first time in days, he is crying tears of laughter. He chuckles softly as he slowly remembers all of the ridiculous things Ralph did and said. He remembers Dr. Finkle’s advice to take small and slow steps towards making sense of his grief. Barry decides to close the laptop and watch the rest of the videos later on.

He says softly, “Thanks, for making me laugh one more time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes a person's death challenges your perception and memory of them. When they're alive, it's like I know and I understand this guy. Then after their death, you start finding out things about them. Maybe you stumble across something they wrote or said and it flips over your memory of them. That's what Ralph's 'vlogs' but not really vlogs are meant to do for Barry, because now he gets to see Ralph's journey from Ralph's perspective. I remember someone commenting once that Ralph was the Silver Age version of Booster Gold and that's really when I got the idea for Ralph's superhero vlog but not really vlog. Ralph Dibny would be the kind of dork who would indulge in the fantasy of being a superhero. He would have a diary or some way of chronicling his "epic" journey as a superhero. If he didn't have to maintain a secret identity he would probably post "progress pics" on Instagram and constantly Tweet about his fights. I decided to split the vlogs in half because the final chapter will have a turning point for Ralph's "vlogs".


	3. I will remember you

Sometimes it is practically impossible to shut down a speedster’s brain. Barry’s brain can replay every memory of Ralph within a couple of seconds, over and over again. Time slows down completely and a million thoughts speed through his mind within seconds as he starts thinking about all the paths and choices that lead to Ralph’s death. Barry hops out of bed and runs around for a bit, before deciding to pass the night by watching the rest of the videos on Ralph’s laptop.

* * *

 

> **Don’t stop believing!**
> 
> Ralph tips his cow-boy hat and smiles at the camera. He says, “I have my own buddy now! YAY! I mean we have only known each for like four days, but we talk about everything. She tells me her crazy ass stories about being on the road and she sort of listens to my juicy P.I. stories. I shouldn't have shown her that photo of me in my ugly suit, though. She made fun of me for five hours. But I can't let go of that suit, it has sentimental value you know? I still use it as a hideous onesie at night when I sleep.” 
> 
> Ralph sighs and says, “I love Barry and all, but I think he’s pushing Izzy too hard. I mean the poor woman just found out that she is being stalked by an evil genius on a floating chair, give her a break! Luckily for her she gets the world’s best distraction ever—ME!” Ralph smiles gleefully and points at himself with his elongated fingers. He recounts, “Okay, Okay so this one time she was telling me about how after she left her home-town to become a singer, she had to sleep in these dingy motels. She said, ‘Oh Ralphy, you don't know about how hard it was. I had to shower in a sink.’ And then I was like, ‘ME TOO!’ Then she giggled when I shared my awesome sink showering tips.” He rubs the back of his head and mumbles, “I mean showering in a sink isn’t that bad, but sometimes I like to use the shower at Star Labs. Warm water feels really nice, okay? I also “steal” those cute little scented soaps and shampoo bottles that Iris bought for the Star Labs gym.” 

* * *

 Barry pauses the video and thinks about all of the times that Ralph joked about being broke. He’d act annoyed when Ralph conveniently forgot his wallet at Jitters or when he “discreetly borrowed” snacks and toiletries from Star Labs. Barry was used to taking certain things for granted, so he didn't fully understand how much Ralph struggled financially. He thinks, “God, I wish I could have bought you a million cups of coffee.” He plays the rest of the video.

* * *

 

> Ralph says, “Anyways, that’s not the point. I have to protect her. I asked her if she’d be okay with me, forming like a stretchy dome around her and she said no. Then I asked maybe I could shapeshift into her and she was like, ‘You can do that?’ I showed her and then we um…got distracted. She asked me to shapeshift into all of these country and rock singers. At one point, I shapeshifted into Steve Perry and we sang **_Don't stop belivin’_** together. It was awesome!” Ralph smiles as he presses a button on his laptop and **_Don't Stop Believin'_** starts playing. He plays his air-guitar like the colossal dork he is while singing a tone-deaf version of the song.

* * *

 

Barry’s chuckles and sings along as the song plays. However, his smile disappears when he reads the title of the next video.

* * *

  

> **I failed.**
> 
> Ralph is a complete mess in the video. His messy hair drapes over his sweaty forehead, his eyes have turned red from all the crying and his face is slowly starting to fall apart. He asks softly, “You know who is super-hero extraordinaire?” He points at himself with his elongated fingers and yells sardonically, “ **THIS GUY**! Yeah, this guy almost gets a little girl killed and then watches another woman die in front him while he stares at her like a useless dumbass! Wow, I have such a great track record as a superhero, it is totally obvious why Izzy trusted me with **_her_** life!” Tears start streaming down his face as he whispers “She was **_so_** close. She was just one feet away from me. I could have saved her. I could have reached her, I could have stretched faster, I could have fought harder.” He takes out Izzy’s CD and looks at it longingly. He says wistfully, “It wasn’t meant to be like this. We were going to team up together and kick Devoe’s ass. We would have been: **_Sonic and Stretch_**. Izzy hated the name, she told me: _Like hell, I'd be named after a dumb blue hedgehog_. She would be a super-hero singer with a ridiculous cowgirl-themed costume. Then she would tour the world, maybe I would have been a back-up singer once or twice. She was supposed to live to become a big star. I mean she has… ** _had_** the tunes to back it up.” 
> 
> Ralph chuckles softly and mummers, “I’m **_actually_** starting to like her music. Isn't that funny?”
> 
> There is a long silence as Ralph looks down at the ground while hugging Izzy’s hat.

* * *

 Barry says softly, “It wasn’t your fault, Ralph. Trust me. I think Izzy would want you to know that. She would thank you for just being there, with her—in her final moments.”

* * *

  

> **I can't sleep.**
> 
> Ralph laments, “I broke rule number one today AKA Don't be selfish dickhead. Yeah, I was a Grade-A asshole to Iris today and I just lashed out at her. I’m surprised that she didn't throw a lightning bolt up my ass. I deserve it and all. Plus, ever since Barry told me that he wanted to do it, I kinda of want to know what would happen to my body. How would a lightning bolt feel inside of me? Would I resist it or would it burn me up from the inside or…down there? Oh god, what the hell is wrong with me? Anyways, I got her favourite food as a I’m-sorry-I-was-bitter-dick-to-you gift. Maybe all that sleep deprivation has turned me into a grouchy asshat. I haven't really told anyone this but…I can’t sleep at night. I know it doesn’t show on my handsome face, because I can cover that shit up with my stretchy powers.”
> 
> Ralph buries his head in his hands and rubs his eyes. He admits, “Honestly, I haven't really slept that much since Izzy died. I look at Caitlin, Cisco and Harry doing their thing. Going on with their life, running their tests, building stuff and I am like, how the hell do these people move on so quickly? How do they smile and go on with business as usual, when a person they knew, died? How do you keep going on after losing someone like that? I know I only spent like one week with Izzy, but I promised to protect her. I promised her, that she would be safe. She was **_there_**. She was **_there_** next to me in the speed lab, when she called me “Stretch”. She was **_there_** next to me when we sang **_Don't stop believin’_**! And—I am just supposed to accept that she’s not there. She existed and now she all of a sudden, poof! She’s gone forever. I’ll never see her again. I don't know…I don’t know how—"
> 
> Ralph wraps his arms around himself as he breaks down into tears. His face starts to fall apart completely as he sobs. He tries his best to put his face back together and muster a weak smile, before slamming his fist on the desk in frustration. He yells, “This…This isn't fair! It’s not supposed to be like this! We are supposed to win! Devoe is evil and he is supposed to lose! Why does Devoe gets away with doing these awful things, every single time! I don't understand why all these innocent people on that damn bus died. We never asked to be a part of **_his_** convoluted and stupid plan. DAMMIT! It was supposed to be a boring day where we took a stuffy bus to the grocery store or something like that. It wasn’t meant to be the day we signed up to be super-powered flesh puppets to a murderous asshole on a flying chair!” 
> 
> He tears up and speaks softly, “I just can’t stop re-playing Izzy’s death in mind—over and over again. Every time I close my eyes, I just see her being frozen in fear and looking at me. My stupid brain starts imagining the same moment with Devoe taking **_me_**. Then I start imagining Devoe taking **_everyone else_**. How the hell are you supposed to sleep at night when you can't stop seeing yourself and everyone you love getting killed?” Ralph sighs as he picks up a bottle of Gingold and chugs it all down. The skin around his face finally relaxes and gigantic dark circles appear under his eyes. He looks down at something in his drawer and says, “Well, I haven't use this lovely concoction to help Ralphy fall asleep, for some time now. Screw it! I need to get some sleep before I start seeing weird shit.” He picks up a gigantic flask and takes a huge sip, hoping that he could finally get some rest.

* * *

 Barry cries when he starts seeing himself in Ralph. He doesn't know how he is supposed to live with Ralph’s death when he spent so much of his time and energy building him up. When Barry revealed that he was the Flash to Ralph and told him that he thought that Ralph was a good man deep down inside, he didn’t fully buy into what he said. He just said that to encourage Ralph and save Joe. However, Barry slowly started to root for him as he watched Ralph grow and remove the layers of grime that had covered his heart for years. He smiles when he remembers the time Ralph bought a “Killer Frost” at Jitters and asked him, “Dude, when I will I get a drink named after me?” At the time, Barry smacked Ralph’s shoulder and told him that being a superhero wasn’t about the fame or drinks. He rolled his eyes when he saw Ralph scribing down possible ideas for his own drink. Barry smiles as he thinks, “At this point, The Elongated Man **_should_** get his own drink.”

Sure, he had spoken to Ralph a couple of times about Izzy’s death, but he didn't know that Ralph was struggling so much. He didn't realize how traumatized Ralph was by Izzy’s death. He assumed that Ralph would recover as quickly as…. well **_he_** does when he fails to save someone. He sighs and mutters, “I’m sorry Ralph, I forgot to teach you one more important lesson. Even with all of your super-powers, you will still lose in life. Sometimes, you will still have to watch innocent people die. I wish I had done a better job of protecting your heart.”

* * *

  

> **One more. Just one more.**
> 
> Ralph solemnly looks at the camera and says, “No more jokes. No more running and hiding. There is just one more bus meta to find and we don't have much time left. I have to take Devoe down, before he hurts **_them_**. I can’t bullshit my way through my fight with Devoe. I need an actual plan this time! Okay, I need a quasi-plan that sort of works out. Let’s face it, I’m not a genius with fifty PhD’s. I can’t out-gadget or out-science him. Even if I had Harry’s cool thinking cap, I would still be the dumbest person on Team Flash.”
> 
> Ralph chuckles and says with faux confidence, “So, what if Devoe has a gigantic brain? He is still a human being with stupid flaws that I can exploit. He reminds me of every narcissistic cheater that I have busted.” Ralph picks up his file on the Thinker and shapeshifts into Clifford Devoe. He monologues mockingly, “Blah, Blah, Blah, you can't possibly understand how complex and awesome my plan is. My plan is like an onion with zillions of layers that is beyond the capacity of your pea sized brain. I like to monologue about my plan and intelligence for like five hours in a deep condescending voice. How does my out my league, wife put up with me? If I were her, I would fall asleep half-way through my monologues.” 
> 
> He smiles as he shapeshifts back to his original form. Ralph says hopefully, “Marlize is probably going to back-stab him. She has the body language of a woman who is slowly falling out of love with her husband. You should have seen the look on her face when she saw OG Devoe in the courthouse again. Those, were real tears. Anyways, Devoe is an egotistical asshole. I know this, because I use to be an egotistical asshole. I’ll just pretend to be a complete dumbass, he’ll underestimate me and I can use his stupid assumptions against him. Which is really easy, because everyone already assumes that I am an idiot.” 

* * *

 Barry pauses the video and he raises an eyebrow once he realizes how much he had underestimated Ralph’s intelligence. Every time Ralph mentioned his amazing detective skills it was always seen as a joke, because he’s the clown who makes dumb puns all the time. It never occurred to Barry how crafty Ralph could be. This is the same man who disguised himself as Devoe and convincingly played the role in a trial. He’s the same guy, who scared the piss out of Earl Cox to find Null. He smiles proudly and plays the last few minutes of the final video.

* * *

 

> Ralph sighs and speaks solemnly, “Honestly at this point, I don’t really care about what happens to me. Eh…I’ll kick the bucket anyways. Probably by doing something dumb like tripping over and falling into an active volcano with boiling axid. Me dying isn’t going to make that much of a difference. I am just a D-list superhero that no one will remember. They can just pop to Earth-69 and get another stretchy guy. No biggie. But, Barry, Caitlin, Cisco, Joe, Iris and Harry are irreplaceable. For some reason, these amazing weirdos decided to believe in me and care about me. If any one of them dies, then the world wouldn’t be the same without them. I **_can't_** let anything happen to them. I **_won't_** let anything happen to them.” 

* * *

 

Barry slams the laptop shut and tears start streaming down his face. Ralph’s words echo in his mind: 

**_“Me dying isn’t going to make that much of a difference.”_ **

**_“I am just a D-list superhero that no one will remember.”_ ** ****

Barry sobs and whispers, “No…No it isn't like that at all. You're irreplaceable too.” He places his forehead against his palm, as he desperately tries to make sense of Ralph’s life. He rants,“You mattered. All the changes you made, all the training you did, all of your small victories—matter. It has to matter! It has to…it h-has to mean something, right? RIGHT?”He finds himself fuming when he thinks about how Devoe just sees Ralph as a prop, a maguffin, a body to use in his plot.

Barry starts reflecting on the entire video series, wondering why the hell Ralph made this in the first place. At first, he thought it was just a bit of dumb fun for Ralph. Just a goofy way to document his epic journey. Just a way for Ralph to weave another ridiculous long-winded story about himself. Now that he has seen the other half of the videos, Barry wonders if the videos were meant to be some kind of therapy for Ralph, because he was never comfortable with the idea of openly talking to a therapist or really anyone else about how he felt. He speed-watches all of the videos multiple times, before he finally comes to an understanding. For the first time, Barry looks at Ralph and finds a man who wanted to be seen, to be heard, to be remembered by someone…anyone. He sees a man who wanted to make some kind of difference. He finally sees someone who wanted to leave an imprint behind. Barry closes the laptop and smiles when he remembers Ralph’s first proper appearance on TV in his official suit. He remembers just how excited and giddy with joy, Ralph was when he was being interviewed by the press. 

Barry quickly speeds over to the warehouse, grabs the box filled with Elongated Man keepsakes and goes back to Star Labs. He starts framing and putting up Lauren’s drawing of “Stretchy Man”, Ralph’s first photo in his official super suit, his tips for super-heroics, the ridiculous photo of “Santa Ralphy” and Ralph’s photo with Izzy on the walls. He smiles when he puts his own picture of Ralph and him posing together in their super suits after defeating Bison.

  

_**Barry promises, “I swear, Ralph, I will remember you. Always.”** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason why I split the fic where I did, is because I wanted to create a parallel between Ralph's grief and Barry's grief. Ralph has been set up Barry's heroic foil this season. He is meant to be a microcosm of Barry's journey as a hero and he represents Barry's ability to bring out the best in others. My personal headcanon is that Ralph has some kind of PTSD after he watched Izzy die in such a horrifying way. So I used that as a motivation for him to lash out and slip back into some of his self-destructive habits. Ralph is a rookie superhero who isn't used to getting invested in people's lives only to watch them die. On top of that Ralph is characterized as a bit of a sentimental softie. He sucks at managing and expressing his emotions, so he has no idea how to cope with Izzy's death. Barry is the veteran who has seen too many people die, but both characters have to deal with grief. 
> 
> I wanted to use Ralph's love of the press and his choice to make a superhero vlog (but not really vlog) to reflect a person's fear of being forgotten and not mattering. The thing with Ralph's character is that he has a mountain of fears and insecurities but he tries to hide that with his bravado. He may act like he is the best superhero ever, but deep down inside he may feel like he is not that important. It's very important for Barry to face his grief, so he can finally honor Ralph's memory and celebrate Ralph's life. 
> 
> I'm going to get a bit meta here for a bit. I lurk on Tumblr. There are a lot of people on there who hate his character and don't understand why these characters are grieving Ralph's death. To them, Ralph is just a privileged, misogynistic asshole who took screen time away from their favorite characters or their favorite ship. I have seen people claim that Ralph has no real development or that he suddenly loves Team Flash out of nowhere. But the thing is that: Ralph did change, he had an arc and he slowly formed bonds with everyone on Team Flash. Even though a part of the audience didn't grow to love his character, the people in Team Flash ended up caring about him. So, it is perfectly natural for Barry to grieve Ralph's death. It is not out of character for Barry to guilty and responsible for Ralph's death. In fact, that is trademark Barry Allen. Ralph and Barry had a teacher-student relationship. Barry was like a big brother to Ralph, in fact, Hartley Sawyer states this in an interview. Ralph was Barry's protege this season. It's like if Barry lost Wally in Season 3. 
> 
> It has been really cathartic for me to write this fic. I hope that if there are other people who are sad about Ralph's death and actually liked his character, they can find some kind of comfort in this story.


End file.
